corny jokes

Where do you go to hear Orc music (LoTR fans)

The ORCestra!

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He's got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, "What's in the bags?"
"Sand," answered Juan.

The guard says, "We'll just see about that. Get off the bike." The guard detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. He releases Juan and lets him cross the border.

A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, "What's in the bags?"

"Sand," says Juan.

The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle.

This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years. Finally, Juan doesn't show up one day and the guard meets him in a Cantina in Mexico.

"Hey, Buddy," says the guard, "I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about...Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?"

Juan sips his beer and says, "Bicycles"
~firegremlin~

haha that is a really good one fire

knock knock! Whos there? banana! DON'T START THAT JOKE!!

MABYE TOO MATURE FOR SOME MEMBERS!!!!


Jack and Betty are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.
"Betty, I was wondering -- have you ever cheated on me?"
"Oh Jack, why would you ask such a question now? You don't want to ask that question..."
"Yes, Betty, I really want to know. Please."
"Well, all right. Yes, 3 times."
"Three? When were they?"
"Well, Jack, remember when you were 35 years old and you really wanted to start the business on your own and no bank would give you a loan? Remember how one day the bank president himself came over to the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked?"
"Oh, Betty, you did that for me! I respect you even more than ever, that you would do such a thing for me! So, when was number 2?"
"Well, Jack, remember when you had that last heart attack and you were needing that very tricky operation, and no surgeon would touch you? Remember how Dr. DeBakey came all the way up here, to do the surgery himself, and then you were in good shape again?"
"I can't believe it! Betty, I love that you should do such a thing for me, to save my life! I couldn't have a more wonderful wife. To do such a thing, you must really love me darling. I couldn't be more moved. When was number 3?"
"Well, Jack, remember a few years ago, when you really wanted to be president of the golf club and you were 17 votes short?"

~firegremlin~

Jordan24Geno wrote:

OLDEST JOKE IN THE WORLD!!!!


why did the chicken cross the road???????????

because he wanted to duuuuuuuu

nice one!

2 atoms are sitting at a bar. one of em looks depressed. the other ask

"are u ok?"

the second one replied

"no i lost an electron"

the first one ask again

"are u sure?"

"yes" said the second one "im positive"

Jordan24Geno wrote:

2 atoms are sitting at a bar. one of em looks depressed. the other ask

"are u ok?"

the second one replied

"no i lost an electron"

the first one ask again

"are u sure?"

"yes" said the second one "im positive"

:tamamdis: that was good!

pugs u got to post a joke too and thanks

What do you call a red bucket? A red bucket.
What do you call a blue bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

2. Now I don't want to say I drink too much, but when I went to the doctor to get my blood test he offered me $50 a case!

3. What's a debate? What you use to catch-a-de-fish!

Who here doesn't know the "I am serious, and don't call me Shirley." joke from Flying High? Perfect. Matter 'o' fackt, the whole movie was and is perfect.

Finally, a note that my dad actually uses some of these and other corny jokes, on a regular basis.


~Roy

i would like to hear some more then!

Halloween joke

what is a witch favorite school subject?

"spell"ing

why did the dragon cross the road?
cause could always squish a couple cars too!

instructor was talking to a class of kids about the importance of animals. the class came to a pen filled with horses. the instructor explaned the history, breeds, and important effects they had. then jokingly asked
"how many strands of hair does a horse have?"

"3,752,821" said a nine year old kid

"wow!" said the instructor "are u sure u are correct?"

"well" said the kid "while im telling a boring story YOU count the hair"

Bit of a sexist joke, but still...

Why did the woman cross the road?
Well the better question is why was she out of the kitchen?

Oh, that was horrible,

~Roy

that was really funny

what do u get when a line of 100 rabbits take one step back?


a reseeding hare line

GROAN!!! and I thought I was bad

How many Liberal Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?

Four

One to need the light bulb changed, another to confuse the issue, another to pass a law about it, and one to call a conservative to actually change the light bulb.

What's the difference between a hockey mom an a pittbull? lipstick! yes its old

First cow: moo!
second cow: Baa!
First cow: What do you mean Baa?
Second cow: Im learning a foreign language!

Jordan24Geno wrote:

What's the difference between a hockey mom an a pittbull? lipstick! yes its old

First cow: moo!
second cow: Baa!
First cow: What do you mean Baa?
Second cow: Im learning a foreign language!

That was Baaaad

music joke

how many flute players does it take to change a light bulb?

5, one to screw in the light, one to pull the ladder out from under her, and 3 others to tell how much better they could of done it

what do you do with a dead atom?
barium!
~firegremlin~

Knock Knock! Whos there? Knock Knock! Knock Knock whos there


and repeats many times but I think you get the idea

What do you call a knight, after the dragon fries him?

Sir Loin Steak!